The Theory of Unintended Consequences: Civilization

When I was a senior in high school, I learned about the Theory of Unintended Consequences in a computer programming class. The theory wasn’t explicitly named at that time but all of us in the class had experienced it: after making a simple change at the beginning of a program, the end result was not what you expected. I learned, as did my fellow students, to go through the program line by line to make sure the logic followed.

During that same senior year, several of my classmates took a class in Physics at a local boys’ school. The class was only girls, from the various girls’ high schools in The City, and it was first period. I asked my friends what it was like.

“You could die in the middle of the hall and they’d step right over you,” was the common reply.

It seemed these boys, whose parents were paying a significant sum for their education, lacked basic manners.

Sis#1 took the same class a few years later and had the same complaint. Oddly, though, when those same boys came to our high school to participate in the school play, they were quite courteous and friendly.

Sis#1 and I came to the conclusion that boys needed girls far more than girls needed boys.

Other writers have also commented on the need of men for the “fairer sex” to maintain the standards of civilization and courtesy. The code of chivalry was as much about the proper way to treat women as it was about fighting fair.

Then we women had to open our mouths and demand to be treated as equals. No more opening of doors, for example. Think that’s a small thing? Wait until you’re pushing a stroller and shepherding a toddler. No more relinquishing of seats in buses and trains. Not important? Wait until you’re 8 months pregnant and have a new center of gravity to contend with when the vehicle goes around a curve or makes a sudden stop. Men don’t have to watch their language because, as their equals, we women are as foul-mouthed as they.

Worse, we women have complained loud and long that when men were polite and respectful, they were really being misogynist. We women can take care of ourselves, thankyouverymuch. Anything they can do we can do—and better.

So many men, tired of having their heads bit off, decided that if they were going to be labeled juvenile and irresponsible, then they were just going to act that way.

Instead of witty repartee and urbane sophistication, we have The Man Show and comedians talking out of their asses—literally. We have music that where women are called “whores” and treated as sex objects. We have movies like Dumb and Dumberer . We have strong, intelligent Princess Leia wearing a harem-girl outfit and tied up in chains.

We have a young woman asking a Presidential candidate, “Boxers or briefs?” and that candidate answering! And there was more of a flap (pardon the pun) when several young ladies wear flip-flops to the White House than there was about the appropriateness of the boxer vs. briefs question.

Ladies, it’s time we reassert our ancient role and take back civilization. We have let our men down by not holding them to a higher standard. It’s time to take back our surnames and honorifics, ma’am and sir (even if you’re just out of college), returning profanity to the backroom poker table, and introducing belts and suspenders as standard attire for men. We have tried to be liberated for these last 30 years and what we see now is the utter devastation of civilization. We must help our men help themselves and make the world safe for our children and grandchildren!