Do You Wanna Dance?

Back in the good old days, when Mass was in Latin and the bishop still slapped your cheek when you were confirmed, if you went to Catholic school you were not allowed to have or attend "boy-girl" parties. The single exception was a graduation party for the 8th Grade, usually held the week before we graduated.

Now, the Catholic school host boy-girl parties for middle-schoolers. There are strict dress codes. Permission slips must be turned in two weeks prior to the event. Faculty and parents must chaperone. The dances are usually fund-raisers for some Good Cause: Katrina, homeless, Souper Kitchen, tsunami. There are strict guidelines for when students are dropped off and when they may be picked up.

I have mixed feelings about this. Dances can cause a lot of social pressure that kids this age don't need. Some of them may not be ready to deal with the boy-girl drama, although there is considerably less of that than when I was growing up. Now, if the girls want to dance, they dance--they don't wait for a boy to ask them. But there still is the pressure, for the girls, of wearing the right outfit and having your hair just so. (Thankfully, makeup and fingernail polish is not permitted.)

The first dance of the school year is tonight, at the parish up the freeway. DD#2 was somewhat reluctant to go (she's never gone without DS#2 before), but since some of her buddies are going, she decided she would, too. She is borrowing my good black sandals.

"Why don't you wear your black dress shoes?" I asked innocently.

"Oh, Mom," she replied with a sigh of exasperation, "because everyone has seen them."

She is also borrowing one of my blouses, as we have not had the time to check out the local thrift store. She decided on one of my red ones, remarking, "Gee, they're all grouped together."

I tactfully pointed out that all my blouses are grouped by color so I can find them in the morning.

"Oh," was her only comment.

This morning I found out that one of her friends had a suggested she blow-dry her hair straight and then curl it. Since DD#2's hair is stick-straight to begin with, I wondered what possible purpose the blow-drying would serve.

"So it won't be frizzy when it's curled," she answered.

Silly me. How could I forget that straight hair when curled becomes frizzy? Could it possibly be because in my own experience with stick-straight hair that has been curled, frizziness has never ever been an issue? Now, fog (which is a common problem in these parts) is a problem, as it causes the curl to disappear completely.

I hope she has a good time. I hope she hangs out not only with her friends from her school but her friends from the other local schools. Because that's really what this is all about--building community. Especially since many of these girls (and the boys, too) will face each other on the volleyball and/or basketball court in the coming months.