Prayer Request: For Sara D.

Sara is only 20 and has Crohn's Disease.  It's progressed to a stage where she has to have major surgery, removing most of her intestine.  Please pray that surgery will go well and that Sara will be able to have a full and fulfilling life.

Prayer Request

This one is for a colleague (Debbie Z.) at work who is undergoing numerous medical tests because her doctors and specialists can't figure out what is wrong.  Kind of like an episode of House, except its happening for real.

Her spirits are holding up; she is able to work from home, which helps keep her from self-pity.  Still, she is getting tired of it all and wants it to be Over.  Please pray that she is able to maintain strength of spirit and that the doctors find out what's going on sooner rather than later.

Prayer Request--for a Breast Cancer Patient

This request is for Jeanine and Jeff. Jeanine has just been diagnosed with Stage II invasive breast cancer. They have two boys, ages 4 and 18 months. Jeanine felt a lump but since she was nursing her youngest, she thought it was a plugged milk duct. However, she was suffering from back pain, so went to the doctor. A core biopsy revealed the cancer.

Jeanine is the family breadwinner as well, since Jeff was laid off. She's only 44. Fortunately, Jeanine and Jeff have a lot of support from family and church, but prayer is always a powerful help!

More Prayer Requests...

For the repose of the soul of Mr. K., the father of my BFF, and for the solace of his family. Unlike some of the others who have passed, Mr. K. lived a long and full life. I spent a lot of time during my junior high and high school years at the K's house and he was always gracious and funny in a way much different than my father--which gave me the important insight that not all men were like my dad. :)

For my neighbor, M., who is going through a very rough patch. He will probably lose his house and his business and he's had both for at least 20 years. His son is a good friend of DS#2 and is over so often I jokingly call him DS#3. M. is not handling the setbacks well. May he learn faith and trust in God.

For the people of Haiti, who have suffered through a devastating earthquake--some of the aftershocks are as severe as any 'quakes we've had in the Bay Area. The difference, of course, is here there are building codes, especially for public buildings. In Haiti, if there are codes, they are ignored. The people are so poor and so beaten, with many struggling to survive. God give them strength in their time of trial. (I really don't know what else to say...)

Prayer Request: For the Repose of the Soul of...

I must say I'm getting tired writing these, especially since these souls are not those who have lived their "threescore years and ten." Not even close.

Please pray for their souls and for their families.

For Virgilio: A non-smoker, he was diagnosed with lung cancer last May and succumbed on Christmas Eve. He was one of the adults involved in DS#2's Confirmation Prep small group. Virgilio was one of those quiet men who worked hard in the background and without whom no parish (or any other organization) can thrive.

For Laura: She was diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer a few weeks ago and died last night. She had a persistent cough, but had put off going to the doctor (and she was a smoker) until it got too bad to ignore. I didn't know Laura well, but we traveled in the same circles in the community (Scouts, school, soccer, church). She had a dry and sarcastic sense of humor and always made me laugh. Her youngest is the same age as DS#2.

Eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord, and perpetual light shine upon them. May they rest in peace. Amen.

R.I.P., Matt

Sadly, Matt passed away the day he was scheduled to come home. He went to sleep and never woke up.

Please pray for the repose of his soul and for his family.

Prayers Requested...

...for Matt and his family. He's a high school friend of DS#1 who has been battling liver disease for most of his life. He received a liver transplant about 12 years ago, but it's failing. He was on the transplant list, but just found out his other organs are now too damaged. So he's coming home, basically to die.

DS#1 saw him the weekend he came up for Aaron's funeral (a group went down to Stanford Hospital to see Matt). Since he's coming home for Thanksgiving, he'll visit with Matt again.

As you can imagine, it's been difficult for Matt, his parents, and his sister. But--damn!--this is the second young man (25-26 years old) in a month within DS#1's circle.

Please Pray for..

...the repose of the soul of Aaron, who passed away Saturday night from complications of juvenile diabetes. Aaron would have been 26 years old next month.

And pray for his family. Their life has been full of challenges lately; Aaron's death is just the latest one.

Aaron is the same age as DS#1; in fact, they went through First Communion classes together, Confirmation, and high school. One of my earliest, and favorite, memories of Aaron is from that First Communion class. Our parish had decided that parents needed to be more involved in the religious education of their children, so all First Communion families had to participate in classes held on Sundays after 9:00 a.m. Mass. You can imagine how well-behaved the boys were during the 90 minute class (taught by their parents) after an hour in Church!

The "activities" in the program consisted mostly of punching out paper figures and re-enacting the lesson. One of the early lessons was the parable of the Good Shepherd. There were three boys in the class: Aaron, DS#1, and one other. They punched out their paper dolls of Jesus and the Lost Sheep and then gave one of the more sacrilegious renditions of the parable I have ever seen: three paper Jesus figures "fighting" over the three identical lost sheep.

We broke it up, trying hard not to laugh.

Aaron was always polite to me and hugged me whenever we saw each other at Mass. He always had a smile and a laugh--and he usually made me laugh, too, when I wasn't shaking my head. I'm going to miss seeing him around.

Prayers Requested...

For Joseph L., who went to an "end-of-season" party for the local rugby club and didn't come home. He was found, drunk and unconscious, in a hallway by his friends. They called 911, but Joseph died later that night in the hospital of alcohol poisoning.

He was 16 and a member of DD#2's class. They were in PE together last year and what she remembers is how Joseph could make anyone laugh. He was a member of the football team and the track team.

For P.J., who was also at the party and arrested for supplying alcohol to a minor. He just turned 18 and is a junior at the same high school. He's well-liked, one of those kids who would never deliberately hurt anyone. (He was in study hall with DD#2.)

For the third teen, who was arrested for supplying the hard liquor and the keg. Because he is a minor, his name was not released. But DD#2 and DS#2 will know who it is by lunch time through the campus grapevine.

Please keep their families in your prayers as well. I can't imagine what they're going through.

We Have a New Bishop!

The Most Reverend Salvatore Joseph Cordileone was installed as the fourth Bishop of the Diocese of Oakland on May 5, 2009.

Our new bishop is young (52--younger than me!). He's a native of San Diego and is a product of public schools, and his dad was a fisherman. He's smart, reputed to be theologically conservative, appreciates the Latin Mass, and is fluent in Italian and Spanish.

His resume is impressive; what I thought was significant is that he asked to be a pastor. He was assigned to a parish in Calexico, which sits right next to the border between California and Mexico. Not an easy parish assignment!

When Bishop Cordileone's appointment was announced, my pastor, Fr. P., wondered how long he would be with us. Fr. P doesn't think it will be long, because of the Bishop's youth: Oakland is but a stepping-stone. (Hmmm... how long before Roger Cardinal Mahoney of Los Angeles retires?)

Oakland is a challenge, covering many ethnicities, many economic groups, spanning urban, suburban, and agricultural communities. Cultural and political clashes are common and unavoidable. We have a new Cathedral (more on that later--but I was surprised, given the negative reviews I've heard, at how warm a space it is inside) and the bills that come with it. A new high school has been promised to those living in the fast-growing Tri-Valley area (Livermore-San Ramon-Pleasanton), which has been deferred over and over again and the faithful there are becoming restless. Meanwhile, there are those who want the Diocese to focus more on social justice issues in the inner cities of Oakland and Richmond.

Bishop Cordileone--whose name means "lion-hearted"--must shepherd us all.

Please keep him in your prayers.

picture courtesy of The Catholic Voice

The Final Confirmandi

On Thursday, April 23, DD#2 was confirmed. The name she chose, Bernadette, is my mother's middle name and the name of my baby sister who died hours after her birth (I was five at the time). DD#2 decided that her Aunt Bernadette is her guardian angel. And why not?

And Lourdes is only a day trip from the village my great-grandfather came from.

The Confirmation was held at the new Cathedral, Christ the Light. This was the first group to be confirmed at the Cathedral; unfortunately, our new bishop has not been installed, so they were confirmed by the Diocesan Administrator with the assistant of the priests from the parishes of the confirmandi. There were 175 confirmandi from six parishes. Add sponsors and families, and the Cathedral was full. Still, it went very smoothly and we were done by 9:00 p.m. Add time for pictures, we were on the road by 9:45 p.m. And this included a full Mass.

I loved the sermon given by Fr. Danielson. He spoke of the time and devotion it takes to become good at something: soccer, music, art, football. You can't sit on the couch and expect to become a great athlete. Nor can you sit on the couch and become a good Catholic. Confirmation is a beginning, not an ending. Get up off the couch and get involved. Live your faith, keep learning about your faith, keep practicing your faith.

It was a great message; I hope it reached its intended audience.

On the other hand, DD#1, who has been having issues with being Catholic, not only came to the ceremony, she also received Communion. She goes to Mass on those occasions where it's important to me or to one of the family, but she usually doesn't receive Communion, although she will ask for a blessing by crossing her arms over her chest and bowing her head. (That's the custom in our parish.) I didn't ask why--I've been praying to St. Monica and St. Augustine for both DD#1 and DS#1--but I know if I push, she'll shut down.

Our pastor, Fr. P., was there, along with Fr. K., and they congratulated the confirmandi. Fr. P. asked me how I was doing and I smiled and said, "My job is done." Okay, not really. But I hope I've given all of my children the blessings of our Faith and the tools to deal with the world, the strength to find the answers to their questions. I know I'm going to keep St. Monica and St. Augustine busy for a long time yet. And continue to set the best example I can.

Prayers Requested...

For a friend of The Anchoress. Heather is pregnant and has an aggressive cancer, so is opting for radiation only until the baby is born. Please keep her and her family, including her baby, in your prayers.

Stories like Heather's give me some perspective in my own life. My "baby" is 15 and is well on her way to adulthood. She and the others may depend on me for emotional support and for guidance (along with a good deal of nagging on my part), but they are all self-sufficient. No one will starve if I can't cook dinner. They can shop, they can do their own laundry, they can even clean when the spirit moves them.

Even Hubs, whom I like to tease about his inability to multitask, can fend for himself.

I can afford to take an aggressive approach with my cancer. And for that I am grateful.

Personal Update

Wow! I didn't realize it had been so long since I posted. I compose posts in my head at odd moments and somehow they never seem to make it online.

I had my first round of chemo about a week and a half ago and spent the rest of that week discovering how the chemicals were going to affect my body. The anti-nausea meds worked very well, especially when a friend mentioned that it's the kind of nausea that goes away if you eat something. Oh--like morning sickness! I know how to deal with that! So I ate crackers when I woke up and ate something every couple of hours. (So much for my Lenten fast...) Then, over the weekend, which was several days after I stopped taking the meds, I noticed my vision was blurry. Turns out one of the meds is a steroid and blurred vision can be a side effect. Swell--my choice is nausea or blurred vision. I'll take blurred vision for $100, Alex!

There was the expected fatigue and then there was the fatigue that crept up on me that I didn't always realize was there. There was constipation, despite drinking several quarts of water a day. There's the nagging sore throat, not a bad one, just one that worried me because I have a history of tonsillitis and strep. So I slept, added molasses to my morning oatmeal, and gargle with warm salt water.

This week I feel like my old self, so much so I went back to my aqua aerobics class yesterday. And then had to explain where I'd been since the beginning of the year. I'm one of the regulars and my absence was noted, which is a nice feeling, actually.

I cut my hair short, kind of like the pixie cut I wore as a girl, which everyone thinks is really cute. And "you got new glasses!" Well, yeah, back in November. People notice the hair and then notice the glasses.

I also made my oncologist laugh at my follow up appointment on Monday. I mentioned I had returned to the office on Thursday after my chemo and she was surprised.

"I had Girl Scout cookies to deliver," I said in explanation.

"Oh... Girl Scout cookies!"

"Yeah. We have our priorities."

"And I can see where Girl Scout cookies are a priority," she said and laughed.

As Sis#2 pointed out when I mentioned the doctor wants me to "keep up my calories": like there's any problem with that during cookie season! (My favorite? All of them, for different reasons and different moods.)

I also attended the special Mass & Anointing of the Sick held by my parish over the weekend. And, yes, I did feel better after attending. Part of it was the feeling of community: I am not alone, spiritually or physically, in my suffering. I have the Communion of Saints to get me through this.

My next treatment is a week from this Friday.

Also, please pray for my friend who was just diagnosed with Stage III lymphoma. She's known in our local Girl Scouting community as "Grandma Willow," and keeps us on our toes! Her daughter, one of my closest friends, is taking this turn of events very hard.

The Results Are In

And I've got breast cancer.

The tumor is small--about the size of a pea. But it definitely needs to come out. I've opted for a lumpectomy and radiation. I met with the surgeon today and surgery is scheduled for February 3, unless there's an earlier opening. Radiation starts about a month after surgery. I also had an EKG and pre-op blood tests.

Besides the tumor, the surgeon will also remove at least one lymph node under my arm. If that's clear, she won't have to remove more. I probably won't have to go through chemo, but we won't know until after the surgery.

I'm beginning to hate Januarys. Otherwise, I'm in my "take charge and do something" mode, which is good for me mentally. I'll break down later. I'm not looking forward to telling my mother & the two youngest kids about this.

Continued prayers appreciated!

More Prayers Requested...

DD#2 and 59 fellow candidates for Confirmation left this afternoon for their weekend retreat. She and two friends are bunking together--I feel for their counselors.

Please pray for these teens (most are sophomores in high school, so they're 15 & 16 years old) as they learn more about the Catholic faith and their place in it.

Prayers Requested...

For me. Tomorrow I go in for a breast biopsy

I find it awkward to ask for prayers for myself. Part of me wants to stay in the background. Another part--the proud part--thinks I can handle this on my own. Or that I should be able to. I've never been very good at public announcements like this.

Just before Christmas, I went in for a routine mammogram. Just after Christmas, I was called back for a second look at my left breast, followed by a sonogram.

The radiologist found a small "nodule" in the middle of my left breast. It's about the size of a pea and can only be seen on a mammogram, not felt. So my timing was just about as perfect as it could be. Since this is a suspicious nodule/mass/lump--not a cyst and it has irregular edges-- the doctor encouraged me to get a biopsy as soon as possible.

And then I wait a week for the results.

BTW, I cannot say enough good things about my HMO, Kaiser Permanente, at this point. The Nurse-Practitioner called me twice from home to set up the appointment for the biopsy and for the follow-up appointment with the surgeon (as she said, "If you don't need it, it's easy to cancel). And then my GYN, who works out of a different facility, called me as soon as he received the results of the first mammogram. He called me both on my cell and at home to make sure I was receiving the appropriate follow-up care and to ask if I had any questions.

I told Hubs and the kids at home but haven't told the rest of the family. I figured I'd wait until I know more. I left a garbled message for my boss (who works on the East Coast) about why I need tomorrow off.

Meanwhile, life goes on, albeit I'm a bit distracted and worried. At this point, I've been praying and trying to live "Thy Will be done"--and mean it. ;)

BTW, Ladies, if you have been putting off getting a mammogram, please don't.

Prayers Requested...

First for Anthony, whose battling cancer and having bad reactions to the medication. Anthony was one of the first friends DS#2 made when he moved to a new high school his sophomore year. Anthony is short; DS#2 is tall. Anthony is extremely smart and articulate; DS#2 is more laid back and often struggles to put his thoughts into words.

After conquering cancer in grade school, it came back last year. On top of that, Anthony had a bad reaction to the medication and spent most of the school year in the hospital. He did make it to Junior Prom. Bald, but in a tux and with a date.

Now, his senior year, he's moving to a medical facility in San Diego (about 500 miles south of us) to try and beat this thing. Those of you who have had kids graduate from high school understand how difficult it will be for Anthony to move away and miss all the fun and excitement of the last year in high school. DS#2 will miss him as well, even though they keep in touch electronically.

My second request is for Corrinne, who is battling pneumonia and a bacterial infection that has affected her heart. Her doctors don't think there is any damage, but they are not sure. Corrinne is an amazing woman and the linchpin of our local Girl Scout neighborhood as a Girl Scout leader, Day Camp Director, and Neighborhood Chair. Oh, and she doesn't have any children of her own.

Prayer Request: Terry Pratchett

I came late to Terry Pratchett's Discworld series, although I certainly was familiar with Mr. Pratchett's name and some of his other works. So I was shocked to read in the online version of the Guardian Book Review that Mr. Pratchett is suffering from early-onset Alzheimer's. He has since donated $1 million to Alzheimer's research in the U.K. and has also spoken out about the fact he must pay for his own medication because, according to the National Health Service, he is "too young" to qualify.

Mr. Pratchett is also outraged at the lack of funding for Alzheimer's research--hence his donation.

He's still writing books, although he's noticed that his ability to touch type has disappeared.

There's little we as fans can do except pray. And continue to enjoy Mr. Pratchett's prolific writings. He plans to keep writing as long as he is able. God willing, that will be for several more years!

crossposted at Catholic Media Review

R.I.P., Kim

"Have you heard about Kim?" a fellow mom asked me.

"No, what about her?"

"She died last Sunday." And then she told me some of the details.

I met Kim through the Sunday pre-school program at our parish. The program was a co-op venture where the families buddied up to teach--okay, it was the mothers who usually taught. The dads generally took the older siblings to Mass or supervised on the playground. Kim's two boys were about the same ages as my two youngest. When our parish school recommended that Kim's oldest wait a year before starting Kindergarten, I was able to give her my perspective, having been through the same situation the year before.

Kim served on the PTG Hospitality Committee, so she was usually in the kitchen. She seemed unflappable, keeping the tea, coffee, hot chocolate, croissants, and fruit coming during the Welcome Back Coffee on the first day of school. If there was a class party, Kim was there. She also worked as a nurse at night so she could be with her boys during the day.

Eleven years ago she was diagnosed with breast cancer. She remained cheerful and upbeat, admitting only to being tired and frustrated that she didn't have the energy to do everything she wanted to do. She wore colorful scarves and hats to hide her bald head. But she had faith that God would not let her down.

She beat that round of cancer.

Three years ago, the cancer returned. Again Kim fought. The entire class of 2007 prayed for her every day. She made it through graduation and danced with her youngest son. But the cancer was relentless and in February she decided to stop fighting. She had Open Houses, wrote her own eulogy. Unfortunately, I was out of the loop and didn't get a chance to see her to say good-bye.

That Kim passed on Divine Mercy Sunday seems quite appropriate.

I wasn't able to go to the funeral, but DD#2 and I did go to the Rosary. (DS#2, who knew Kim's oldest son, was visiting a friend who just came home from the hospital after being treated for lymphoma.) A lot of the kids from their class were there, along with staff from the school. We shared our memories and our prayers. We made the usual comments about how nice it was to see everyone; how sad it had to be an occasion like this, we really need to get these kids together for a happier reunion.

We probably won't.

I can't imagine the school kitchen without Kim behind the door.

A Brief Hiatus...

Because my life isn't complicated enough, on Thursday I broke my arm. It's not a bad break, as these things go, but it is painful. I've been spending a lot of time drugged and sleeping. As of now, I don't need surgery. I'll know more on Monday. (Technically, I broke the top of my humerus--the long bone in the arm. It's my left arm, a small blessing as I'm a righty!)

I slipped in the shower on the wayto the pool at the "Y". I was wearing my new aqua-aerobic shoes--guess the non-slip soles didn't work too well! I was in my Speedo swimsuit for about 8 hours. (Think one piece, nylon and lycra, snug fitting, no hooks or clasps.)

There is more to the story, some of it actually funny. But it will have to wait until I can type with two hands!