Monday, August 01, 2005

Fashion Tips (Offered With a Smile!)

I took DD#2 and a friend to a local water park yesterday. In between sliding into the water, jumping waves, and standing in line, I made the following observations. Except for #1--that was made on Friday morning as I headed to work. (BART is another great place to people-watch...)

1.) If it's cold enough to snuggle into a warm, woven scarf, it's too cold to wear flip-flops.

2.) When getting a tattoo, especially if you're young & nubile, consider what said tattoo will look like when you're 50 and saggy. This is especially true for women who have mandala tattoos around their navels and then have several children. The mandala will never be the same.

3.) Visibly pregnant women in bikinis is not I look I chose while pregnant, but, hey, that's me. However, navel piercings should probably be removed when your navel begins to stick out.

4.) Allowing a 14-y.o. girl to get a tattoo, even if she pays for it herself, is probably not a good idea. Allowing her to get a copy of the Playboy Bunny logo and the words "Playboy" is not unless your name is Hugh Hefner. (Wasn't there a time when "Playboy" was considered exploitive of women? When did it become rehabbed?)

5.) Shorts, skirts, and pareos are a good look for a woman with mature thighs.

6.) White becomes transparent when wet.

7.) There are two ways to make the following comment:
a.) Polite: You should change your swim suit style as your body matures.
b.) Snarky: Your 40-y.o. old body ain't your 20-y.o. body. Deal with it and buy a swim suit that fits the body you have now, not the one you used to have.

8.) Baggy swim shorts baggy enough to show off your boxers is still not a cool fashion look. The fact that your swim shorts are baggy enough to require that you wear boxers should be a clue!

9.) There are a lot of cute swimsuits that cover what they need to and look great. How come I can never find one? (Probably because I am not willing to spend the money! :)

The oddest place I saw for a tattoo yesterday was right above the kneecap. That's usually where I sport a bruise from banging into furniture. I am curious why one would choose that particular spot. With all the stretching the skin does over the kneecap, it must have taken forever to heal.