Thursday, March 29, 2007

Decisions, Decisions

DD#2 was accepted to her first choice high school. Everything about it is inconvenient, especially the cost (tuition & books are going to run at least $10,000) and the location (the opposite direction of where everyone else in the family needs to go in the morning and will be in the afternoon).


She really, really wants to go there. I can tell. It's in her eyes and her face when she talks about it.

The worst part is I know how she feels. I was in the same spot myself, 40 years ago. And Sr. Henry told my mother that I deserved to go to my first choice high school and that God would provide.


Hubs comes from a different background and has a different perspective. When we were first married I was the fiscally conservative one. Now he is. He sees the money spent on high school as money that could be spent on college. And he has a point: DS#1 is going away to Cal Poly in the fall; DD#1 will be leaving (we hope) for college/university in a year, followed by DS#2 the year or so after that. Hubs hates being in debt. High school is high school and he's hoping DD#2 is accepted into the same high-quality, out of district high school that DS#2 currently attends (and, with the grace of God, will graduate from).

Yeah, it would be nice not to have to juggle money and bills from month to month and paycheck to paycheck.

I am tired of being the parent who always says, "No." I really want to say, "Yes."

I took the chicken way out. I've asked Hubs to talk to DD#2 and to find out, for himself, why this high school is important to her. I'm asking him to say, "No."


I feel sick about it. I feel that, somehow, all this comes down to my lack of faith. I always have difficulty when I'm at the crossroads of "practicality" and "faith." This is where I strain to find some guidance, some sign from God about the right path.

Maybe there isn't one. Maybe where DD#2 goes to high school isn't such a big deal in the larger scheme of her life. Again, my experience is that going to my first choice high school important and did make a difference in my life.

No matter what choice is made, someone is going to be unhappy about it. And I'm going to be stuck wondering "What if...?"