Too Late for a Novena to Stop the Healthcare Bill?

I know I should pray when I first wake up.  The Good Sisters tried to pound that into our hearts and souls in grammar school.  Instead, I checked the weather and the news headlines.

The weather is the only good news.

There was a line about Sr. Carol Keehan of the Catholic Health Association supporting the Senate version of the Healthcare bill.  I had to search to find a complete article: Catholic Health Group Accepts Abortion Language in Reform Bill.

From the article:  "She "has a major concern on life issues" about the bill, she said, and believes they will require monitoring should the bill become law. But she believes the concerns are adequately addressed by the mechanism to keep abortion coverage apart from the government-regulated health care markets."


For Sr. Keehan, the imperative to provide health care coverage is greater than protecting the lives of fetuses.  She thinks this bill will do that--or at least start:  "As I watched our president present his plan to pass the health reform legislation, it was clear this is an historic opportunity to make great improvements in the lives of so many Americans," Keehan said in her statement. "Is it perfect? No. Does it cover everyone? No. But is it a major first step? Yes."


Sr. Keehan now gives cover to all the wavering pro-life Democrat Representatives.  "Look, a sister in the Catholic Church approves!  The bill must be okay!"


I'm concerned and worried and feeling powerless--what can I, a single individual do?  I can pray.  It may be too late for a novena, but it's never too  late for prayer and fasting.  I will be praying that Congress listen closely to their consciences and follow God's Will in their voting.  And I will pray that I can accept God's Will in my life as well.


"Not my will, but Thy Will be done."  


Who knew that Faith would be challenged in such a way?  Almost makes facing lions in the Colosseum in Rome seem easier.  :)

Faith & Politics

Hubs is really, truly worried about the direction the U.S. is taking, especially the Health Care Bill.

"Is the President stupid?" he fumes.  (About Speaker Pelosi and Senator Reid, he has no doubt--they are stupid.)  "How can you not be upset about this?"

"Faith," I answer.  "I pray and I trust in God."

I'm not being flippant.  I lived through the 1970's and saw The Silent Majority being shouted down--by many of the same people who are bringing us the health care bill.  I heard the pundits proclaim the end of The American Dream, that the world would run out of food, potable water, fuel, and fauna.  The world was becoming Trantor--a completely built up world where the citizens never saw the open sky or grass or trees.

And I noticed it didn't happen.  Hubs and I were able to find jobs, buy our own house, raise our kids.  Our grocery stores and warehouse stores a full of food--and not just the foods of my childhood, but foods from other countries:  my children eat bread, naan, pitas, and tortillas and don't think it's unusual.  (On the other hand, I remember when I had my first souvlaki.  I was 19 and in Berkeley.)

Back in the 1970's, computers took up entire rooms and didn't have the processing power of the machine that sits on my lap.  My smartphone has more memory than my first computer.

I don't know what God has in store for us.  I'm not sure what lessons He wants us to learn.  Maybe the lesson is that we should appreciate the gifts we have received, that freedom and responsibility go hand-in-hand.  Or a very basic lesson:  people tend to value what they have paid a price for, whether it be in actual dollars or suffering, or personal effort (Churchill's "blood, toil, sweat, and tears").

St. Peter as the Patron Saint of Lent

Back when Cardinal Timothy Dolan was Archbishop of Milwaukee, he had a series on EWTN of weekly reflections for Advent and for Lent (there may be more--so far these are the only two I've seen).  For Advent, he chose the Blessed Mother--okay, that one's obvious.

For Lent, he chose St. Peter.

My parish is sponsoring the series and last night was the first one.  I've always been fond of St. Peter--as one of the participants pointed out, he's the most human of the Apostles, yet he's the one to whom Christ entrusted His Church.

Rather reassuring.

Cardinal Dolan started with the story of Peter walking across the water to Christ.  But Peter becomes distracted by the wind and the waves and sinks.  Jesus rescues him and chides him for having so little faith.

The lesson for us is that we, too, are beckoned by Christ to come to Him.  But we become distracted by the wind and the waves in our lives and lose our focus.  Lent is our opportunity to identify those winds and those waves that distract us.  And Lent is the time for us to focus on the sanctifying grace--the presence of the Trinity--that resides in our soul.  Cardinal Dolan gave some great examples of prayer, not elaborate, but short sentences that his second grade teacher (Sr. Mary Bosco--great name!) taught him:  dedicate your morning to God, offer any challenge during the day to Him, and apologize for offending Him at night.

Okay, Cardinal Dolan--and Sr. Mary Bosco--was much more eloquent.

The session, including small group discussion, was only an hour.  I'm planning to attend all six in hopes that I can keep my focus.

Happy Ash Wednesday!

The post title is courtesy of DD#2 who asked, a couple of years ago now, if we were have cheese tortellini to celebrate Ash Wednesday.  Apparently serving cheese tortellini on Ash Wednesday had become a tradition--without my being aware of it.

So, yes, we celebrate Ash Wednesday here at the Warren with cheese tortellini and ashes and discussions of what we are doing for Lent--which usually means what we are "giving up."  I encourage them to think of Lent as a time to "do," and I know they've heard that message in school and during the two years of Confirmation Prep.  For some reason that message is a more difficult concept.  

DD#2 and I are going meatless.  I will add Bible study, return to saying the Rosary daily, and take the class on Lenten Reflection offered by my parish.  More prayer is a good thing, right?  I'm not sure what DS#2 is planning.  I'll have to check.

Hubs is not thrilled with the meatless thing.  But it will be good for him, too.  He needs more veggies in his diet.

Abstinence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

Or something like that. Unless you believe that everyone has a right to free-fettered sex with anyone, anytime, no matter what the cost.

Not only did Pam Tebow chose not to abort her son, Tim; Tim is a virgin and proud of it.

Well, well, well. Lucky for him he's an outstanding football player. (Remember the time in the not so distant past when athletes were encouraged to abstain from sexual activity before a game on the theory that sex depleted their energy?)

Bookworm finds Tim's virginity refreshing and hopes that her daughter dates someone with the same values. At 23 and 16, my daughters are of dating age--and I hope they bring home someone like Tim, too! :)

So Time comes out as a virgin and respecter (respector?) of women and The Washington Post reluctantly reports that "Abstinence programs might work" in preventing teen pregnancies. Hmmm.

But mental and physical health aside, there's another reason to encourage teens and young adults to abstain from non-marital sexual intercourse: practice.

We encourage our children to practice a lot of things with the advice that they'll need it when they're older. Kids shoot hoops for hours, do wind sprints, throw footballs and baseballs at targets, write reports, do problems. Why shouldn't we use the same argument for abstinence? I don't know of many marriages where a partner has been available sexually 24/7/365. Life intereferes: business travel, pregnancy (and post-partum), serious illness. Had some famous men practiced sexual abstinence as teens and young adults, their marriages might not have fallen apart so spectacularly and so publicly.

In fact, John McCain admitted--and accepted responsibility for--the breakup of his first marriage due to his acting like a randy 25-year-old out to score rather than a mature husband and father. (One of the many things I admire about Senator McCain, BTW.)

Abstinence not only prevents unwanted pregnancies and STDs, it also keeps your name out of the front page when you're famous. Perhaps that's a message that's more understandable!

Technology and the Culture of Life

First it was Lennart Nilsson with his beautiful intrauterine photographs documenting the development of the fetus into a baby in A Child Is Born.

Now, 3D sonograms capture the fetus sucking its thumb, swimming, and even smiling.

Today there is a story on AOL: Study Finds Traces of Thought in Vegetative Patients. Using the latest fMRI technology, five patients previously thought "vegetative" showed signs of thought and awareness. That's five out of 54--not terrific odds, unless that happens to be your kid, your spouse, your sibling.

No discussion about the quality of the lives of those five, although one of the researchers did acknowledge (in an article about the same study on The Fox News website:

Monti and Laureys said it is not clear whether such patients have the mental capacity to answer more important but complicated questions, such as whether they wish to go on living.

"I'm trying to figure out what is the best way to tackle this," Laureys said.

Both articles stress that the responsive patients suffered traumatic brain injury, rather than oxygen deprivation, which is what caused Terri Schiavo's brain injury.

Still, I see this as yet another argument for choosing life. And that maybe the Catholic Church might have learned a thing or two about the mysteries of life in the last 2000 years.

Abortion, Taxes, and Civil Disobedience

An interesting discussion is going on between two of my favorite bloggers: The Anchoress and Bookworm Room. Book noted earlier how she came to change her views on abortion and how we, as a nation and a society, need to have an honest discussion about abortion.

There must be something in the air because I recently got into a debate with a young man I've known for awhile about this issue. He is pro-abortion and doesn't like the fact that the opposition uses the term "pro-life." He thought they should be "anti-choice."

I pointed out that I'm not "anti-choice": men and women have the choice not to have sex or to use birth control. He then went into the usual tirade about unwanted babies and rape and destroying the lives of young women and overpopulation and not being judgmental about someone else's decisions about their sex life. I tried to point out some of the fallacies of his arguments, but he wasn't having any of it.

It seems that there is a right to have sex, any time, any where, with anyone, with no consequences. And that attitude is what bothers me the most. I

Public Declarations of Faith

At the end of last night's game between Alabama and Texas, the on-field commentator interviewed Colt McCoy, quarterback for Texas. McCoy had been injured early in the game and was unable to play. The injury could also affect his chances with the NFL.

But McCoy said (and I'm paraphrasing), "It's in God's hands. He has a plan for me and I have to follow." In fact, he continued to stress that his future is in God's hands for the next several seconds. (He also praised Alabama for being a great football team.) The commentator seemed uncomfortable by McCoy's witness of his faith (to his faith?).

I thought his reaction was quite mature. Southern Universities have a reputation as "football factories"--indeed, the commentators last night kept referring to the fact that the quarterback for Alabama last lost a game he started back in 8th Grade. For a young man like McCoy to realize that football might not be his destiny is a good thing.

McCoy's remarks will generate much less controversy than Brit Hume's. For one thing, McCoy was referring to his personal faith, not urging someone else to embrace Christianity. For another, the media elites do not expect football players in general, and Southern football players in particular, to be particularly bright. So if they want to cling to an outdated, unhip religion like Christianity, well, who cares? Especially if they continue to play spectacular ball.

(The game was more exciting than the final score indicated. Texas was within three of Alabama and had shut them out during the second half of the game until about the last three minutes. Congratulations to both teams who played their hearts out!)

Vocations and Avocations

The Anchoress is talking about Vocations over at her blog. She has a poll up with some interesting questions.

One of her questions is whether, as parents, we have talked with our kids about the religious life. Hubs is not Catholic; the idea that his children would have to become celibate and unmarried is foreign to him. He just doesn't get it.

In fact, the whole idea that you can go to college (or university) and study what you're passionate about is a difficult one for him to grasp. The son of friends of ours is studying music. "How is he going to make a living?" Hubs wonders. "A musician's life is horrible." By that he means unpredictable: on the road, finding gigs, playing all hours of day and night, no certain paycheck.

And Hubs loves music. He has a wonderful voice and played alto saxophone in junior high, was in chorale and musicals in high school, was in a barbershop quartet for many years. Still, he can't see music as a career. Or art.

But he is also not an studying sort. He's taken some courses through community college, but that's about it.

My take is different. "He's following his passion. It will all work out," I say. My life didn't exactly turn out the way I planned, but overall I'm pretty happy. In fact, I have met very few people in my line of work who actually planned to be in shipping as a career. Most of us "fell into it," and stayed there either because we enjoyed it or through inertia. Although I might not be "using" my degree in biological sciences to do research work or in the health field (my original plan), I am using the skills I developed while getting that degree.

My dad wished I had majored in English so I would "be a writer." When he first told me this, I was surprised: I didn't realize he valued--or even recognized--those particular talents of mine. But after taking a couple of college courses, I was glad I didn't. Deconstruction is not my thing and studying biology (and chemistry and physics and math) actually gave me important problem solving skills. Would I have majored in English had I known my dad thought I was talented? I don't think so. But I might have been more willing to change my major when I discovered that I really enjoyed my History of Science classes (and did really well in them).

When discussing the classes she's planning to take as a senior in high school, DD#2 lamented, "There are too many things I'm interested in!" I sympathized with her. Biology or physiology or geology; sports medicine or dance; art or crafts. And then there's classes like photography or psychology or drama. How do you choose, especially when you are 16 or 17?

I'm rather glad that most religious orders require that candidates have some college, if not a degree. Experience some of what the secular world has to offer; know what you're giving up. I think the Church will be better for it.

Julie D. over at Happy Catholic also has some thoughts about this matter as well.

Be Careful What You Wish For...

Okay, I didn't exactly wish for all this drama, but God, having a sense of humor, decided to test my equilibrium today.

First, I am now the only woman in my office, recently downsized from five to four. I am the only one who is not a sales rep. Next week the guys will attend sales training Back East and I will be all alone in the office. I would throw a party, but most of the people I'd want to invite have also been laid off!

Then, the President of our division resigned. I've known this gentleman for twenty-five years--he started with the company when I was one of their first customers. While I understand why he and the company (which has undergone a buyout and major restructuring over the last two years) parted ways, he takes with him a lot of historical knowledge and personal contacts with our upper-echelon customers. I like the man named as his replacement: he is young, energetic, and enthusiastic about our product. He's also an excellent liasion between IT and the rest of us: he seems to be able to communicate with both groups.

While the above changes will not affect me directly, the former President was adept at soothing bruised egos and keeping those who micromanage out of the hair of those who don't want to be micromanaged. Unfortunately, one of those pairs is my boss, of whom I am rather fond, and her boss, of whom I am not. The jockeying for position will be painful and I am so glad I am Out Here!

The third thing today is rather amusing. Today was my first day back at Aqua Aerobics since early November, when I began radiation therapy. When I walked into the Y, there was a notice that the jacuzzi was closed but the pool was open--and the temperature was 71 degrees. Now 71 degrees ambient temperature is rather comfortable. 71 degrees water temperature is the equivalent of a polar bear swim. Okay, not quite: the Bay is much colder (around 55 deg). Still, 12 of us, all women, most regulars, followed our fearless leader as we jogged around the pool (with plenty of comments). We were just getting warmed up--literally--when the aquatics director pulled us and the lap swimmers out of the pool. There was at least one inch of water flooding the pool decks because the drains weren't draining. It was the shortest class I had ever attended (about ten minutes). But the hot shower felt good and, hey, I made the effort! I'm hoping the problem with the drain and the heater will be fixed by Wednesday.

Reading around, I noticed that one of Julie D's (Happy Catholic) resolutions is to not buy any more books, except those required for her book club. I wish I had thought of that! (Does asking for books as presents count?) I'm interested to see how she does on this. I have "given up" buying books and/or craft supplies (I'm a rubber stamper--it's amazing how many "toys" there are just for us!) for Lent and that was hard. But an entire year?! Wow!

Fortunately, she has a good public library available, so it's not like she won't have access to books.

Resolutions, I Have a Few...

One thing I have learned this year is to lower my sights, to scale back on my expectations of myself. I was able to finish the stationery sets my family has come to depend on receiving, but I didn't decorate the envelopes to coordinate. Sis#2 noticed in a kind of off-handed "Huh, the envelopes aren't stamped" way.

I spent a lot of 2009 on the couch (or in bed), especially after coming home from work, letting my brain veg. From talking with the nurses in the oncology unit, it will be at least six months before I feel completely "like myself." My brain has gone blank, withholding information I know I know. I blame "chemo brain" and find that I can often recall names or faces but not always both (embarrassing when I'm doing introductions, either socially or for business).

All this is in explanation of why I am trying to temper my Resolutions this year. I always feel like I should be doing more: more praying, more nurturing my family, more volunteering for my community, more responsibility at work, more writing, more exercising, more eating healthy, more "personal growth." My Resolutions traditionally run along those lines.

And, as always, 2010 will bring changes. Some I know about: my office is moving from its current location conveniently around the corner from the "Y" to further out in the SoMa. Other changes will be unexpected. Many will be beyond my control, although I will be affected.

So my goal this year to find the balance that works for me, which is a bit like standing on a ball. A great phrase I learned in biology is "dynamic equilibrium," which means that an organism constantly reacts to its environment, trying to maintain the optimum point. So I will be trying to find and maintain my "dynamic equilibrium." I need to let my body continue to heal, which means I must practice patience with myself.

Along with that, I need to continue to work on living my faith, of following Mary's example of saying "Yes."

I think that's quite enough for one year!

Okay, one more. Sis#2, one of my cousins, and I are discussing participating in the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer. It's a 2-day walk, 26 miles in all (I think) and it's held over my birthday weekend in July. I'm not in shape for it now; I don't know if I will be in 7 months. I'm nervous about committing myself to doing it, although I know other women who have participated and found it an awesome experience.

But, if not now, then when?

Book Review: Our Lady of Guadalupe, Mother of the Civilization of Love

Just in time for her feast day, December 12, this book by Carl Anderson and Fr. Eduardo Chavez documents the visitation of Our Lady to Juan Diego Cuauhtlatoatzin on Tepeyac. Anderson and Chavez recount the visitation using several sources, including the testimony of Juan Diego himself as well as his contemporaries.

I knew the outlines of the story but I didn't realize how the Virgin spoke to Juan Diego in his native language, using phrases and endearments that he would recognize. And, as she did later at Lourdes and Fatima, she chooses her messenger from among the lowest caste.

In fact Juan Diego protests that there are others who would be better suited to deliver her request for a church to Friar Zumarraga, the bishop-elect of Mexico. But the Virgin insists and Juan Diego obeys. Fr. Zumarraga's staff stonewalls Juan Diego and later lies about his actions, but he delivers the Virgin"s message and later the proof Fr. Zumarraga demands: flowers wrapped in his tilma. And the incredible image we know as Our Lady of Guadalupe.

An incredible image it is, too. Anderson & Chavez write about the scientific examinations the tilma has undergone over the centuries, how this simple garment has withstood deterioration, the lack of damage from acid and bombs. They also reveal the complex symbolism of the painting, incorporating images recognized by the Spanish and by the native population, including the fact that Our Lady is a mestiza: a mixture of Spanish and native. I found this section quite interesting and wish I had known more about it when the authorized reproduction of Our Lady of Guadalupe visited my parish several years ago. In fact, my one complaint is the lack of color illustrations in this section of the book.

Anderson & Chavez spend a lot of time on the historical events at the time of the Apparition (1531), both in Europe as well as the New World, further clarifying the extraordinary power of the apparition and why Our Lady of Guadalupe is so highly honored in the Americas, including the United States and Canada. And explaining, as well, the significance of Mary to the Catholic Church.

The final section discusses the hope the Virgin brings to us because she carries her Son with her always. She directs our attention to Him and models for us the behavior of a true believer. To quote from the book, "...she is the spiritual mother we all share, perfectly enculturated, a symbol of the "catholic" aspect of a Church where all are full members and all are welcome as equal heirs to the kingdom of God." We share Mary as our Mother and with her help, we are called to bridge the gap between cultures and countries.

The Appendices include The Nican Mopohua, the earliest written record of the apparition, as well as a Chronology, prayers, and a bibliography. There are extensive footnotes.

Carl Anderson is the Chief Executive Office and Chairman of the Board of the Knights of Columbus. Fr. Eduardo Chavez is an expert on the Guadalupe apparitions and was the postular of St. Juan Diego's cause for sainthood.

The book is well-written in language for the layman. Canonical and theological terms are explained without slowing down the narrative.

FTC Disclaimer: I received an uncorrected proof copy of this book for review from The Catholic Company

On the March Hare scale: 4 out of 5 Golden Bookmarks

This review was written as part of The Catholic Company product reviewer program. Visit The Catholic Company to find more information on Our Lady of Guadalupe: Mother of the Civiliation of Love.

crossposted at Catholic Media Review

The Cathedral of Christ the Light, Oakland, CA

This is the image of Christ the Light that greets you as you enter Oakland's new cathedral.

I was not impressed by the outside of the Cathedral. It's dwarfed by the office buildings that surround it, so you really can't get a good look at the glass exterior. The shape is supposed to suggest flames and/or the bishop's mitre, but then there are these spikes on top. I'm not sure why.
The plaza surrounding the Cathedral is cement with minimal landscaping. Hopefully the Diocese will eventually add some trees, plants, benches, maybe a fountain or two to make the plaza more appealing.

Lake Merritt is across the street, which does offer some visual relief. However, there's a very busy four-lane street between the lake and the Cathedral.
I was pleasantly surprised by the inside, though. I think the use of Douglas fir and natural light warms the otherwise cold concrete. (The Newman Center/Holy Spirit Parish in Berkeley is almost completely concrete and resembles a large cave.) The interior reminded me of Noah's Ark, turned upside down and re-purposed as church, which kind of tickled me.

The holy water fount at the entrance is also the baptismal fount, which I thought was another nice touch. The water is recirculated to become wall fountains in the mausoleum under the Cathedral.



Thousands of tiny holes allow sunlight to come through the rear screen and project the image on the front. Once the sun goes down, the image is still there, but is very subtle: black dots on a gray background.

Along the sides of the church are several small rooms--I'd call them chapels, but there are no altars. Each room is designed for prayer and one can light a candle. There is a single image in each room, done in different styles. Below is my personal favorite of the group: the Crowning of Mary, Queen of Heaven.


Other images included an empty tomb with a white cloth and a large sculpture of the Crucifix, which I didn't care for.




Underneath the Cathedral is the Mausoleum. You can also get to the meeting rooms which are under the plaza. Under the stairwell is this mobile of fish made by a local Catholic school. The floor plan of the Cathedral is shaped like a fish, so there is a lot of fish symbology (is that a word?) going on.

I can't remember what grade/s contributed the fish. Judging by the fanciful colors, they were in the K-3 range. :)

Overall, I'm happy with the design. According to the seating chart we received for Confirmation, it's supposed to hold close to 2,000 people. But it doesn't feel that big, which is a good thing, I think.

The sound system, on the other hand, stunk. Part of the problem, is learning to adjust the system from a nearly empty Cathedral to a full one in the space of 15-20 minutes. At least, I hope that's the problem and not that the system itself is inadequate!

We Have a New Bishop!

The Most Reverend Salvatore Joseph Cordileone was installed as the fourth Bishop of the Diocese of Oakland on May 5, 2009.

Our new bishop is young (52--younger than me!). He's a native of San Diego and is a product of public schools, and his dad was a fisherman. He's smart, reputed to be theologically conservative, appreciates the Latin Mass, and is fluent in Italian and Spanish.

His resume is impressive; what I thought was significant is that he asked to be a pastor. He was assigned to a parish in Calexico, which sits right next to the border between California and Mexico. Not an easy parish assignment!

When Bishop Cordileone's appointment was announced, my pastor, Fr. P., wondered how long he would be with us. Fr. P doesn't think it will be long, because of the Bishop's youth: Oakland is but a stepping-stone. (Hmmm... how long before Roger Cardinal Mahoney of Los Angeles retires?)

Oakland is a challenge, covering many ethnicities, many economic groups, spanning urban, suburban, and agricultural communities. Cultural and political clashes are common and unavoidable. We have a new Cathedral (more on that later--but I was surprised, given the negative reviews I've heard, at how warm a space it is inside) and the bills that come with it. A new high school has been promised to those living in the fast-growing Tri-Valley area (Livermore-San Ramon-Pleasanton), which has been deferred over and over again and the faithful there are becoming restless. Meanwhile, there are those who want the Diocese to focus more on social justice issues in the inner cities of Oakland and Richmond.

Bishop Cordileone--whose name means "lion-hearted"--must shepherd us all.

Please keep him in your prayers.

picture courtesy of The Catholic Voice

Personal Update

So much to blog about, so little time in the day.

Yesterday was the first day since my third chemo session on April 24 that I felt like myself. While that's good for me and reassuring to Hubs, I don't know if the kids at home appreciate it. ;)

Sunday was the nadir for me, physically. I really understood Jesus's prayer in Gethsemane: "Abba, Father, all things are possible to you. Take this cup away from me, but not what I will but what You will." (Mark, 14:36) I hate being sick, not because I am normally an active person but because I have a tendency to sloth. I don't need an excuse to be a couch potato; indolence is my natural state. So I have spent a great part of my adult life trying to overcome that tendency.

Call it a legacy of Catholic education or Catholic guilt: the idea that no matter how good I am at something or what I do, I can always do better or do more. When I stand before God and give an accounting of how I spent the time, talent, and treasure He gave me, will I have done well? Will it be good enough?

I don't know.

Like most people, I've had to make choices--some difficult, some less so. I've had to compromise. I've taken shortcuts, sometimes necessary ones. Breast cancer is my own personal Gethsemane, my own Way of the Cross, except that it affects my family and friends as well. And how I cope (or not) also affects them.

Odd things are a priority for me. I find it very important to me, personally, to get DS#2 and DD#2 up on school days and to pack their lunches. If I get nothing else done, they have that. And Monday, I couldn't do it. I warned them Sunday night that I wouldn't, so they knew and they reassured me they would be okay.

DS#2 appreciates my efforts now: typical young male, he decided he didn't need lunch and by 3:00 p.m. was starving. :)

Apparently, my body has decided it wants to wait to experience the side-effects of chemo. Instead of nausea, vomiting, and a rash immediately following chemo, it wants to wait about a week or ten days. When I called the oncology nurse, her first response was, "Oh, that can't be because of chemo!"

"It's happened the same way after my last two sessions."

"Oh." Silence. "What do you want me to do?"

Like I know? "Would you mind documenting it? And can I have more anti-nausea meds?"

"Okay."

What did I expect? My surgeon called in a colleague because she could only find one lymph node draining my left breast. Her colleague couldn't find any more either. Why should my body's reaction to toxic chemicals follow a normal pattern?

More proof I am a unique individual.

But y'all knew that. ;)

The Final Confirmandi

On Thursday, April 23, DD#2 was confirmed. The name she chose, Bernadette, is my mother's middle name and the name of my baby sister who died hours after her birth (I was five at the time). DD#2 decided that her Aunt Bernadette is her guardian angel. And why not?

And Lourdes is only a day trip from the village my great-grandfather came from.

The Confirmation was held at the new Cathedral, Christ the Light. This was the first group to be confirmed at the Cathedral; unfortunately, our new bishop has not been installed, so they were confirmed by the Diocesan Administrator with the assistant of the priests from the parishes of the confirmandi. There were 175 confirmandi from six parishes. Add sponsors and families, and the Cathedral was full. Still, it went very smoothly and we were done by 9:00 p.m. Add time for pictures, we were on the road by 9:45 p.m. And this included a full Mass.

I loved the sermon given by Fr. Danielson. He spoke of the time and devotion it takes to become good at something: soccer, music, art, football. You can't sit on the couch and expect to become a great athlete. Nor can you sit on the couch and become a good Catholic. Confirmation is a beginning, not an ending. Get up off the couch and get involved. Live your faith, keep learning about your faith, keep practicing your faith.

It was a great message; I hope it reached its intended audience.

On the other hand, DD#1, who has been having issues with being Catholic, not only came to the ceremony, she also received Communion. She goes to Mass on those occasions where it's important to me or to one of the family, but she usually doesn't receive Communion, although she will ask for a blessing by crossing her arms over her chest and bowing her head. (That's the custom in our parish.) I didn't ask why--I've been praying to St. Monica and St. Augustine for both DD#1 and DS#1--but I know if I push, she'll shut down.

Our pastor, Fr. P., was there, along with Fr. K., and they congratulated the confirmandi. Fr. P. asked me how I was doing and I smiled and said, "My job is done." Okay, not really. But I hope I've given all of my children the blessings of our Faith and the tools to deal with the world, the strength to find the answers to their questions. I know I'm going to keep St. Monica and St. Augustine busy for a long time yet. And continue to set the best example I can.

He Is Risen!

"Who will move the stone?" According to Mark, that's what the women wondered as they approached the tomb with oils and spices to anoint the body that had been crucified three days before.

What they found was "a young man, dressed in white." Mark does not call him an angel. So who was this young man?

I love the Triduum. I love the rites and the rituals from Holy Thursday through Saturday. The covering of the statues. The washing of the feet. The story about the Last Supper. The procession of the Holy Eucharist through the church to the Altar of Repose. The empty tabernacle. The extinguished candle.

And then the solemnity of Good Friday. The necessity of the Death so that Christ may triumph.

This year, I was privileged to be a lector, sharing the reading of Genesis--the beginning of it all. Reading in the dark Church, with just our voices. Then the story of Exodus and Isaiah--the story of God's Promise to His People.

Then the Gloria, the bells and the light and the celebration.

And the best part: welcoming those who have chosen to "cross the Tiber"--or to complete their journey. This year we welcomed an entire family as well as a long-time parishioner who had never been baptized.

Afterwards, there is the chorus of "Happy Easter!" as we head out of the church, back to our homes, knowing we have been saved and that Good has, indeed, triumphed over Evil.

I am dependent on these rites, these rituals. They mark the passages of my life. I love it when Passover coincides with Easter, the way it was in the beginning, the way it should be. There is a strength to that, a Power.

Add the prayers of those celebrating Pascha (Mimi--did I get that right?) and God is truly Here.

We've Got a New Bishop!

On May 5, Bishop Salvatore Cordileone will be installed as the fourth bishop of the Diocese of Oakland. Unfortunately, it's after DD#2's Confirmation--ah, well.

Bishop Cordileone comes from San Diego and has quite a theological background, having received his doctorate in theology in Rome. According to Fr. P, Bishop Cordileone has a reputation of being a theological conservative, which, if true, just might cause some friction the more liberal clergy at some of the local universities. I don't think that bothers Fr. P at all.

Bishop Cordileone was a parish priest in Calexico, just on the California side of Mexicali, and speaks fluent Spanish--a plus here as well. He's also young--52--so Fr. P wonders how long he will actually be with us before he's tapped for bigger and better things.

I haven't checked other Catholic blogs to find out more about him. The latest edition Catholic Voice, our diocesan newspaper, was published before Bishop Cordileone's appointment was announced. I'll be interested in what they have to say as well. The paper tends to have a liberal bent, although our previous bishop, Bishop Vigneron, was conservative.

(Can you be theologically conservative and politically liberal?)

As ever, prayers for the new Bishop who will have many challenges in the coming years.

An Awesome Feast For Ears & Palate

Fr. P. has slowly been making our parish his own. His first steps were to bring our liturgical practices into conformance with GIRM. Not harshly, but firmly. He then went to work on the music.

He's a priest in the mold of Benedict: well-schooled theologically with a love of music. He brought back chanting to the Mass, especially during Christmas and the Triduum. He's encouraged our choirs to expand their repertoires and include some traditionally hymns and more vocally challenging pieces.

But his big project was restoring the organ in our church. He not only succeeded, he also enhanced it by adding more pipes that became available from a synagogue in San Francisco (which I find rather fitting, in a "completing the circle" kind of way).

Last night, the Bishop Emeritus came to bless our new organ, on the feast of the patron saint of our parish. A noted organist was brought in and we were treated to thirty minutes of music as he put all the pipes through their paces, demonstrating the range and the possibilities. That was followed by Mass.

DD#2 was one of the acolytes. Her primary job was to hold the Bishop's mitre and crosier. The Knights of Columbus were also there, swords, capes, and plumed hats. And I was reminded that singing with an organ is definitely not like singing with a piano! Organs can hold a note, so the pace of some of the familiar hymns was slower than usual, notably the Gloria. Which means my breathing had to change to match, something I had learned waaaaay back in the '60's.

And then there was the Recessional. The first few bars played and I laughed, unfortunately out loud. The organist chose Holy God, We Praise Thy Name, my all-time least favorite hymn. And we sang all three verses.

(Perhaps an explanation is in order. Growing up, in my pre-Vatican II parish, only one recessional hymn was ever sung: Holy God. In fact, Holy God was just about the only hymn sung in English. Now, I only know of about three people, not in a choir, who can actually sing this hymn without squeaking. I am not one of them.

(Just for the record, my other least favorite hymns are Come Holy Ghost, again because no one I know can sing it properly, and Faith of Our Fathers because I find the melody somewhat whiny. Come Holy Ghost was practically required at Pentecost and Confirmation, as was Faith of Our Fathers.

(I know, I know... all three are "classics." Frankly, I prefer Kumbyyah to any of them, especially when the congregation gets behind it!)

After Mass, we had a "St. Joseph's Table," an Italian tradition that I somehow missed. Basically, there was a table of food set up in the Parish Hall, all day long. And each family was encouraged to take a loaf of bread to bring home to share. The tradition started much like Thanksgiving: a village in Italy, facing famine, prayed to St. Joseph for a good harvest. Their prayers were answered, so they had a communal meal where all could share the bounty and celebrate. This was a wonderful way to end the day, talking and laughing with friends and fellow parishioners. I hope our Parish is able to carry this tradition forward next year.

On a funny note: the sanctuary was decorated with cala lilies. It took me twenty minutes before I made the connection between the lilies and St. Joseph. D'oh!

I can't wait to hear the organ during the Easter vigil.

News To Good Not to Share

My surgeon just called: there was no cancer in the second excision she took, which means that the cancer on the edges of the first lumpectomy was it.

Thank You, Lord!

Yes--it is 6:07 p.m. and she called me personally.

I go in tomorrow so she can take a look at the incisions and how my breast is healing. Right now it's a lovely shade of green-and-purple and a little bit swollen.

Many thanks to all my friends who have been storming heaven on my behalf.

First hurdle done; two more to go.